We learn how to talk to each other throughout life. When we're young, we are taught how to use our words in non-hurtful ways. When we reach adulthood, we are taught how to talk to individuals who have suffered a great loss...how to offer our sympathy. What we are not taught is how to speak to someone who is in the process of dying. I am inclined to think that listening is the most important part of speaking to someone who is in the process of leaving this world. Non-verbal forms of communication like holding a hand and giving a hug can speak volumes. Eyes filled with tears can also communicate.
There's no doubt about it. It is sad to see a friend or a family member fading away. Anticipating the inevitable end is painful. But today I learned from sitting with a friend who is nearing the end of life, that humor can still be drawn forth and gratitude can still be expressed. I guess we learn best how to talk to someone who is dying by just listening carefully even when they worry that their words are not clear or organized. We learn to let the other person's essence lead us through our awkwardness.
We are beginning as the daughters to discuss what may happen in the future. It is not an easy topic, but it is better to discuss in calm times as opposed to sorrowful ones.
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