I’d like to begin today with a story that is found in the Talmud
about a certain Rabbi Beroka who stood with Elijah the prophet in the
market and asked, “Is there anyone here who belongs in the World to Come?”
Elijah pointed out two brothers. Rabbi Beroka ran after the two
brothers and asked them what their business was.
They replied, “We are jesters. We make sad people laugh. And when
we see two people in a quarrel, we use some humor to make peace between them.”
The Baal Shem
Tov was perplexed by this story and asked for an explanation. This
is what he was told:
These two jesters were able to connect every matter they saw in a
person to its origin in the higher world. By doing this, any harsh heavenly
decrees upon this person were automatically annulled.
But if someone was depressed, they could not make this connection
for them. So the jesters would cheer them up with some humorous words, until
they were able to make all the connections necessary.
—Keter Shem Tov 272
Perhaps you have
guessed that the point of my telling this story from the Talmud is to relate it
to the life of Bob Pitlor who indeed is an individual who belongs in the World
to Come, the Jewish equivalent of Eternal Paradise. After all, Bob used his time, energy, talents,
and humor to bring joy to others and to cheer up those whose spirits needed uplifting. He helped people feel connected to one
another and to life. Whether he was
performing as a clown for the Shrine Circus, going to hospitals to connect with
sick children, entertaining synagogue kids on Purim, or doing his magic shows at
his grandkids’ birthday parties, Bob saw the humanity in each and every
individual. His positive outlook was
offered to all. He treated all equally; the sick and the healthy, the rich and
the poor, the young and the old. He
brought laughter and smiles to all and as a result, improved the quality of
life for so many.
I remember
vividly when Bob (and Letha) first moved to South Lake Village and my 9- year-
old granddaughter and I went to visit him.
He was sitting in a chair in his room with his famous Dr. Hairbrain hat
on his head. He was delighted to see a child
entering his room. Bob had me reach up
into his closet and pull down a magic wand that lit up with glowing
colors. He did a few magic tricks for
her with the wand, showing her how to make it work, and then gave it to her as
a gift. Such generosity was a typical Bob
move. He liked being a giver not a taker.
A year or so
later, when he was having a bit more trouble being mobile, Lori and Howard knew
how much he would enjoy making buttons (afterall he was Buttons the Clown) so
they brought him to the synagogue’s Israel Independence Day celebration. He sat in a wheel chair at a long table with
his button making equipment in front of him while children and adults came to
him with their button designs. Once
again, his giving nature spread joy throughout the room.
Some of us
remember when Bob set up phone calls to talk to Jewish dissidents in the Former
Soviet Union who were longing for religious freedom. I’m told that several of
the calls were made directly on a bag phone in the Pitlor home. The call I remember, was set up here at the
synagogue so many of us could gather round and listen to the conversation. It
was at a time when technology was still very crude and we were all amazed that
we could listen in while Bob offered a sense of hope to our fellow Jews sitting
halfway around the world. It was individuals
like Bob, reaching out to the Refuseniks who would not give up their Jewish
heritage, who eventually made a difference in the lives of those suffering
under a tyrannical government.
Individuals
who reach out to others in a very public way, are often noted to be the ones
who forget to reach inward to their families. That was not the case with your
father, Betti, Soni, Cindi, Jane, and Lori.
Your dad’s greatest concern was that you should all be well-taken care
of and get along with one another. Your
dad might have worked long hours outside the home when you were young to ensure
your well-being, but he did so because he relished raising you 5 high-spirited
girls with the love of his life, your mom, Letha. In fact, he loved his family
so much and thought you all were so amazing that he would at times invite
others to your home just to show everyone how blessed he was. Having a strong
family meant the world to him.
It is easy being a daughter when your father
is your rock supporting you financially and emotionally, directing the comings
and goings of the family. It is less easy being a daughter when it is
your turn to help your father make decisions which are not always easy, when you
are present to see his decline. Each of
you showed that his love for you did not stop with you, it was returned
full-circle. He might have been joking
when early on he told you about the positions he wanted you to take around his
death bed, but in reality, the fact that you were all there and remained by his
side at the end of his life fulfilled one of his most cherished wishes. I can’t think of anything more gratifying for
a parent than knowing that he was not cast off when he grew old nor deserted when
his energy waned. You were all his
continued hope and comfort. You proved
that your love for your father was not based on what he could do for you, but
on the essence of his being.
I think you
all know that Bob did not consider himself to be a religious man because walking
into the synagogue for services was definitely not his thing! But he understood what it meant to identify
as a Jew and to live as a mensch. Ultimately, he always tried to do the right
thing even though it wasn’t always easy. It is the righteous person who “walks
the walk” and so Bob will be remembered as a righteous person. He made it his
personal mission to care about others and bring increased joy into their lives.
When I think
of Bob’s legacy I think not only of his 5 daughters, but also of his 5
sons-in-law, Richard, Jess, Marlon, Mike, and Howard, and
of his 19 grandchildren, Ilana, Aaron, Allie, Jason, Ari, Julie, Jeff, Zoe,
Evan, Amy, Noah, Molly, Brandon, Casey, Levi, Elizabeth, Ben, Carly, and Emma,
and his 13 great-grandchildren. You each
have a bit of Bob in your heart and will have wonderful memories of your times
together. You won’t find many
grandchildren these days who can laugh about having received gag gifts of rubber
vomit and plastic poop toys from their loving papa . You also won’t find many grandchildren who
can bring to the surface fond memories of the varied rooms in their
grandfather’s house….the button room, mask room, magic room, and concession room!
So Bob, as we bid you a smooth transition
into the World to Come, please know that your impact on your family and friends
will long be felt. If we see a clown
wearing a red nose, we will think of the many laughs you gave us. When we work at our jobs we will follow your lead
and realize that it is not the work that makes life meaningful but the people
with whom one comes in contact.
Thank you for making life so much more
meaningful for each of us.
Lech l’shalom. Go in peace.
May your memory always be for a blessing and may your soul be bound up
in the bond of life.
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