Lest you
think that the # Me Too Movement which has swept across our country since the
last presidential election is not appropriate to talk about on Yom Kippur, let
me remind you of the various mentions of behaviors in our machzor that would
allude to the fact that it is a very appropriate subject to be wrestled with
today.
Sexuality is
a not a taboo subject in Judaism. We are
expected to elevate ourselves by making our connections to another human being
wrapped in holiness. Of course we have
statements such as “We have sinned against you through sexual immorality”; “we
have sinned against you by resorting to violence”; we have sinned against you
by the way we talk” found in our machzor
which indicate that not everyone lives up to our code of holiness at all times.
Even though we incorporate sexual misdeeds within the realm of a public viduii
on Yom Kippur, that is not to say that such actions can be wiped away with just
an official “I’m sorry” being said to G-d in a public format.
·
The #Me Too Movement is about consenting to sexual
interactions. When an individual says
“NO” or “STOP” even if they had previously said “YES” consent is then being
withheld. The figures for those
suffering from sexual violence are staggering in this country. Every 92 seconds an American is sexually
assaulted. On average, there are 321,500 victims (age 12 or older) of rape
and sexual assault each year in the United States.1 Ages 12-34 are the
highest risk years for rape and sexual assault.3
These statistics come from RAINN, the nation’s
largest anti-sexual violence organization.
There are more staggering statistics:
1 out of 6 women has been the victim of a completed or attempted rape in
her lifetime. 1 out of every 10 rape
victims is male. 21% of transgender,
gender queer, and/or nonconforming college students have been sexually
assaulted. If these statistics are able
to speak to us it is to let us know that this crisis must be put to an
end. When victims speak up they do so
with great courage because there are always those who would like to insinuate
that they are to blame for what has happened to them. The psychological trauma that follows such
incidences can be seen resulting in depression, sleep disturbances, eating
disorders, self-harming, and ptsd.
Sexual harassment can also take its toll on
victims. There was a national survey
released by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago
in April 2019 which found that 81 percent of women and 43 percent of men have
experienced sexual harassment. “Verbal
comments were most common, but 49 percent of women also reported unwelcome
sexual touching or groping, 27 percent had been followed, and 30 percent had
been flashed. The ADL released in
February 2019 that 18 percent of Americans had been sexually harassed online.”
Even victims of sexual harassment in the workplace are
likely to suffer from depression, anxiety and ptsd as a result of the unwanted
treatment they receive. As hard as it is
for individuals to report harassment and to feel supported afterwards, such
steps are necessary if the victim’s trauma is to be mitigated.
The #Me Too movement is designed to teach us about
being sensitive to inappropriate conversations and inappropriate behaviors that
make individuals feel uncomfortable and/or violated. Judaism takes a stand on such boundaries as
well.
Nechama Goldman Barash, who teaches at the Pardes
Institute in Judaism wrote about the #Me too movement and Judaism. She pointed out that there are several places
in the Tanach where sexual violence and sexual objectification take place. Examples include:
· “ Sarah who is forcefully taken
without permission into the harems of Pharoah and Avimelech without protest
from Abraham (God is the protestor in both cases)
· Dina who is taken without consent
by Shechem
· The beautiful captive woman who
is taken into the home of the Israelite
· The concubine of the Givah who is gang-raped as her indifferent
husband is nearby, within the safety of a house
· Bathsheba who is sent for by
David, taken into his bed and returned by his messengers afterwards
· Tamar who is brutally raped by
Amnon
· Vashti who is the first
objectified woman to say no
· Esther
The Torah also includes two stories about women who sexually
harass/seduce/objectify men. The most well-known is Potiphar’s wife – a
powerful, immoral woman who continuously verbally assaults Joseph. Joseph has
to flee leaving his shirt in her hand, ending up with him being framed and sent
to jail. The second less-known story is about Lot’s daughters who intoxicate
and sexually take advantage of their drunk father, with the older sister
coercing the younger sister in order to perpetuate the human species.”
These Biblical stories were present to let us see the ills of
such behavior and the danger that objectification of others can present in
society. When I grew up and when I
taught in our religious school, these were the very stories that were never
taught . We were never privy to having discussions that could lead us to
understand that powerful people throughout history have made decisions that are
harmful to others and that there have been by-standers who have not spoken out
to decry their behaviors. Of course, it is also to be noted that it is not just
powerful people who objectify and violate others.
This problem besides being an historical problem as seen through
Biblical writings is obviously a current problem in the United States as seen
through statistics provided by surveys.
It is also a global problem. “A recent United Nations(U.N.)survey
of 10,000 men in Bangladesh, Cambodia, China, Indonesia, Sri Lanka and Papua
New Guinea found that close to one-quarter of the men admitted to having raped
a woman, with half committing a rape as a teenager, and the vast majority (72
to 97 percent) facing no legal punishment for their crime. The U.N. noted that
perpetrators overwhelmingly expressed a singular rationale for why they raped
women: “the most common motivation that men cited for rape was related to
sexual entitlement—a belief that men have a right to sex with women regardless
of consent.”
As we read the statements in our machzor this morning, let us use
them as a reminder that we must act as forces of good for those who have been
victims of sexual violence and harassment no matter what their gender. Let us make sure that we never belittle those
who have shown the courage to speak out when violated. Let us make sure that we work towards a just
society that does not allow perpetrators of rape no matter what their age to
inflict their damage on others with no resulting legal punishment because when
we do allow that to happen, we give them the “go-ahead” to inflict pain on
others in the future.
Meanwhile, I hope we will fulfill Martin Buber’s vision of all
relationships being I-Thou relationships rather than I-It relationships. Perhaps that will happen as a result of the current
demand for mutual respect and kindness that we are seeing take place when
victims courageously speak out. If we
truly believe all individuals are created in the divine image then we as a
society will have to finally learn how to control our yetzer ha ra, our evil
inclinations, and to show respect for the boundaries that are designed to leave
everyone feeling safe and comfortable as it relates to their own body.
Amen.
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