Kol Nidrei Address- Community

Tonight, Kol Nidrei, is a very special time on our calendar.  For some of us, it is just one of several nights that we’re going to be in the synagogue throughout the year.  For others of us, it is a singular night that will draw us to the synagogue unlike other days on the calendar.

When I was growing up here at Tifereth Israel, Kol Nidrei was a very powerful evening indeed.  People left work early, began their fast, and made their way to the synagogue early enough to get a seat that they wanted.  Obviously finding a seat is no longer a problem at this shul yet some still leave work early to begin eating a final meal before beginning their fast.

The reasons that individuals come to services are varied.  Some of us come to commune with G-d, some of us come to commune with friends, and some of us come to commune with our own self.  Some of us come because it is part of our identity as Jews, that’s what we do especially on Shabbat and holidays.  Some of us think of services as an activity and if we have time, we might schedule it into our week, but it has no higher priority than most of our other activities.

So, if the previous statement that synagogue attendance is just one of several competing activities in an individual’s life is accurate, what will cause someone to want to take the time to be part of a synagogue like Tifereth Israel? If as Rabbi Randall Mark wrote, “ Super Bowl Sunday is more likely to be observed in more Jewish homes than Sukkot,” how could a shul make a difference in the lives of its paying members or those who so far have chosen not to affiliate at all?

I think I once read a statement by our very own Ken Bloom that said he believes we are all Jews by Choice. In reality that is one of the unique aspects of being a Jew in America in the year 2019.  We are all able to choose whether or not we affiliate with institutionalized Jewish settings and how much we want to avail ourselves of what they have to offer.

It is my belief that one of Judaism’s strongest draws is the importance of community.   I can’t imagine giving birth and only being able to share my joy with individuals with whom I commune over the internet.  Yes, it feels good to get 100+ likes or comments of “Mazel Tov” but it actually feels so much better to see the faces of people who are truly happy and want to share in my joy by taking time out of their day to do so.  I can’t imagine facing the death of a loved one alone or just with my “friends” over the internet.  They can’t hug me when I need a hug nor listen to me sharing memories when I need to pour my heart out to them.  Shiva builds community into the grieving process for a very important reason-we do not have to bear our burdens alone; we are to be here for one another.

When we are raising our children, it is true that we can look at our sending them to Hebrew school in the same way that we look at sending them to soccer after school.   The one difference, however, is that Hebrew school can help a child discover their identity via customs, traditions, and moral lessons.  Lighting that spark in a child can help ground them for future challenges when they need more than just the popular culture they see reflected in the media.  It can connect them to a rich history that will lend a solid base to their unknown futures.

Perhaps you’ve noticed that in its attempt to re-brand itself the conservative movement now uses the word kehillah instead of synagogue.  A kehillah is a community, a collective undertaking. In a kehillah each person makes a distinctive contribution.  In a kehillah we all stand equal before G-d.  Differences in gender, age, physical and mental abilities, financial status are to be equally embraced among members of the kehillah.  Our goal should be to make everyone feel connected.

I realize that we do not always succeed at this goal.  But it should be foremost on our agenda.  Community is about reaching out to others and it is also about accepting overtures from those who reach out to you.  Community is about knowing that we are not designed to be alone in this world.  As the book of Ecclesiastes says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” 

Maybe you’ve heard the following story before. “There once were 2 righteous individuals, who while still alive, were permitted by God to see the world to come. They were ushered into a large room, where they saw people sitting at a banquet table. The table was overflowing with the most delectable foods but nothing had been touched. The righteous individuals gazed in wonder at the people seated at the table, because they were emaciated with hunger and constantly moaned for food, even though the delicious food was right in front of them.

They asked their guide- if they are so hungry, why don’t they eat the food in front of them? The guide answered- they can’t feed themselves- if you notice, each one has their arms strapped straight so no matter how hard they try, they can’t get the food into their mouths. Truly this is hell, said the righteous individuals as they left the hall.

The guide then took them into another room and they saw the exact same scene- a beautiful table laden with all the same wonderful foods. But they then noticed that everyone seated around the table was well fed, happy and joyous. To their utter shock they soon realized that these people also had their arms strapped straight. Tuning to their guide- they asked- then how is it that these people are so well fed, given that they too can’t transport the food to their mouths. Behold, said the heavenly guide. The righteous individuals looked and saw that each one was feeding the other. They exclaimed, this really is heaven. The guide, said yes, as you can see, the difference between hell and heaven is a matter of cooperation and serving one’s friends, one’s community, one’s fellow human beings.”

One need not wait to discover “a heavenly after-life”, so to speak, we can create heaven on earth.  We can all make sure that we live life in a cooperative manner by serving our friends, our community, and our fellow human beings in their times of joy as well as in their times of challenges.  We need to live life as if we ourselves matter but we also need to recognize that the lives of all those around us matter as well and act accordingly.

As this congregation begins down a path of thinking what it would like its future to be, I hope and pray that our focus will remain on relationships and the holiness of being connected.  There are many who have come and gone from this congregation over the years who still feel connected to Tifereth Israel.  I have coined the term, “Little Shul on the Prairie,” to describe this congregation.  We may be little in terms of our numbers, but I still believe our hearts are large, our devotion to G-d, Israel, and the Mitzvot is never waning, and that we must continue to see ourselves as playing an important role in Judaism in Lincoln, Nebraska.  May the blessings so many of us have felt by being part of this congregation, continue to unfold as the future of this congregation unfolds.