Saturday, January 17, 2015

You've Got to Have Heart....Reflections on Pharoah and My Husband's Birthday Celebration!

This week’s Torah portion, Vaera, is renowned for its central theme of the plagues which are recounted during our sedarim at Pesach every year.  This portion actually presents the account of 7 of the 10 plagues which occurred in Mitzrayim.  When G-d speaks to Moses, G-d tells him, “I shall harden Pharoah’s heart and I shall multiply My signs and My wonders in the land of Egypt.”  (7:3) Rabbi Meir Schweiger, who coordinates the Executive Learning Seminar at the Pardes Institute in Jerusalem, discussed the difference between a sign and wonder in the following manner:  “A wonder astonishes me, baffles me….I can’t describe it or explain it, but there is a distance between me and the wonder.  I do not learn from it, I can ignore it if I choose to do so.”  On the other hand, “A sign directs me, shows me the way, I am impressed by it and learn from it." According to Rabbi Schweiger, for Pharoah, the plagues were merely wonders, for the Jews they became signs.

Why was Pharoah able to dismiss the plagues?  Why was he able to ignore them and not see them as signs rather than just as wonders?  It was because of the condition of his heart!  There are two terms used in today’s portion that refer to the state of Pharoah’s heart.  The first term can be found in Chapter 7 line 13  / Vayechzak lav paroah….Pharoah’s heart became strong (not hardened).  The second term is found in the following line (7:14) kaved lav paroah …Pharoah’s heart is heavy, he has refused to send the people.  There is a third and final term that is often used to describe Pharoah’s heart, “lev kasheh , a hard heart.  

Each of these terms speaks about the nature of Pharoah’s personality.  Pharoah possessed a strong heart (and that is not being used in a positive sense) that could withstand the pressure of the plagues.  Even when he was overwhelmed by the impact of the plagues, he refused to buckle under and cede the power that he believed was rightfully his by acknowledging G-d.  His strengthened heart led him to refuse to capitulate to G-d and eventually led to his own demise. 

Pharoah’s heavy heart was not filled with honor as the root of the word kaved would lead one to believe.  It was heavy with self-importance.  The plagues represented a power struggle between Pharoah and G-d.  Pharoah believed he was a god and in control over all.  There’s actually a midrash related to chapter 7 verse 15 “Go to Pharoah in the morning- behold! he goes out to the water- and you shall stand opposite him at the river’s bank.”  It is said that this all powerful Pharoah who believed he was a god went to the water secretly early every morning so no one would see him, and what would he do?  He would relieve himself.  He tried to hide the fact that he had bodily needs! A god after all, could not have such needs.   

  And finally, Pharoah is described as having a heart that was impenetrable (stone-like).  During the first 6 plagues he could have let the Israelites go and not have suffered a plague as a result of keeping them enslaved.  During the 7th plague of hail, the game changed.  He could have told his people to stay inside so they would not have been harmed by the hail that was to fall.  (9:18- 21)  If Pharoah had cared for his people, he could have listened to G-d and acted to save them from the destruction caused by the hail.  Yet, he was willing to let his people die, because he refused to capitulate once again.

Pharoah’s heart lacked compassion.  He did not even look upon his fellow Egyptians and feel any concern for them.  His actions revolved around himself, and his visions of himself as a god.

So now the question might be, how am I going to relate this portion to my husband, Charlie, whose birthday is being celebrated here at shul?  The relationship is quite easy…it is based on the word Lev….heart….which is used time and time again in this portion.  No, it’s not because we’ve been through so much over the years related to Charlie’s heart….atrial fibrillation, atrial flutter, and a diagnosis of clogged arteries. (We’ve come through those incidences with the help of our wonderful Jewish doctors, Andy Merliss and Marlon Weiss! And with the grace of G-d. ) It’s because the physical condition of his heart in no way mirrors the emotional attributes that I would use to describe Charlie’s heart. 

Charlie’s heart is strong but unlike Pharoah, he does care about others.  Whether it’s willingly opening our home to guests(even though he’s the one who ends up washing the floors) , taking in individuals who are not related to us who need a place to live for a short while, or loaning funds to individuals who are experiencing times of crisis, Charlie’s heart is open to doing such acts of gemilut chasadim, acts of loving kindness. As opposed to Pharoah’s impenetrable heart, Charlie’s heart really is soft, not rock-like.  Whether he’s treating his patients in the state penitentiary with respect because he know that first and foremost they are human beings not just prisoners, or whether he’s hanging out with his friends at the Mill or at the men’s lunch bi-weekly, he really does care about the well-being of those with whom he is in contact.  Pharoah might have had no room in his heart for anyone but himself, but Charlie’s heart is filled with love and caring for his three children, Abby, Yehoshua, and Becca, and his daughter-in-law, Nava… it is also filled with love and affection for his five grandchildren, Jemma, Orli, Shmuel, Chavivah, and Chananyia.   He would never do anything to endanger his family’s well-being because he knows any such action would ultimately break his heart as well. 

It is significant, I believe that we read parshat Vaera today, because we can learn by looking at Pharoah what it means to rid oneself of the divine image with which each one of us is created.  I truly believe that Charlie unlike Pharoah, has learned that he cannot distance himself from life, but must learn from its ups and downs. I sense that his heart understands that as human beings we have the ability to give of ourselves and care for others.  That is why I am so happy to be able to celebrate this 68th birthday with him at shul.  Forty three years ago we designed rings that said…  “Simani K’chotam…al levcha….set thee as a seal upon thy heart…that phrase is as significant today as it was when we first joined our paths in life together.

 May G-d keep your heart alive, Charlie.  May it always be filled with compassion, love, and the knowledge that you will forever hold a place in my heart and in the hearts of your family and friends. Ad meah v’esrim!

Shabbat Shalom
(I thank my friend, Rabbi Meir Schweiger for his podcast which helped me understand this portion more fully.)

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