Tamar and Yehudah...organically related to the Joseph story

It wasn’t until a few summers ago, that I was introduced in any sort of a serious fashion to the story of Tamar and Yehudah.  Until then, it was a story which was too “adult” to teach to children, so I never really paid much attention to it.  It also seemed to be very much out of place in the Joseph narrative into which it seemed to be placed.

After studying, however, I learned that the two stories, Joseph being thrown into the pit and Tamar and Yehudah, are very much connected if not one story.  Let me explain.

When the brothers decide that they want to kill Joseph they are convinced by Judah to sell him to the Ishmaelites instead.  In chapter 37:26 (Mah betzah ki naharog et achinu) Judah states, “What gain will there be if we kill our brother?”  “Al Thi Vo ki achinu v’sahraynu hu”  “He is our brother our own flesh.”  Instead, Judah acts to have his brothers sell Joseph and they listen to him.  Judah’s moral failing is that he didn’t go far enough to convince his brothers that even selling Joseph would be wrong.  After all, if he thought about it, or even if the brothers had thought it through fully….they could have predicted that their father would be distraught by the loss of a son (especially his beloved son, Joseph). 

If you remember the story, after Joseph is put in the pit and sold, they take Joseph’s coat, slaughter a goat, and dip the coat in the blood taking it to Jacob.  Their words are 37:32  Haker nah hakatonet bincha hi (Identify if you please this coat of your son).  Jacob puts on sackcloth and mourns; all of his children come to comfort him.  The problem is that he cannot be comforted.  He has not seen the body, so in many ways, the death is an unknown death to him.  He will not get over it. Although time can heal loss, after a burial…when there is no burial, or as long as you do not confront the reality of your loved one’s death, there is no way to be comforted.   In fact Jacob says, “Ayrayd el bni avel sheolah.”  I will go down to the grave mourning for my son.”

The very same verb “to go down” is used to begin the story of Judah and Tamar.  “Vayered Yehudah mayat echav” 38:1  “Judah went down from his brothers”  Why was that phrase used?  According to Rashi it is to show us that Judah went down from his leadership position in the family because when he could have influenced them not to harm Joseph in any fashion, he did not act far enough.  According to Rashi, the brothers would have listened to him and their father would not be in the lowly state of mind, never to be comforted, if only Judah had not suffered from the moral failing of not acting far enough.

We know that as the story unfolds in future chapters, Jacob will in essence lose two sons, Joseph who is in Egypt, and Shimon who is kept in Egypt as a prisoner.  Jacob fears the loss of his youngest son, Benjamin, when the brothers are sent to Canaan to bring him back to Pharoah’s court.  Remember this fact of Jacob fearing the loss of three of his sons.  It matters!

In the story of Tamar and Judah, we are told that Judah has three sons…the eldest, Ayr (whose name means awake)(turned backwards-RA/evil) is Tamar’s husband who dies at an early age, leaving her with no children.  She marries Ayr’s brother, which was the custom of yirboom (levirate marriage) to keep her husband’s name alive through offspring that will be attributed to Ayr.  The brother, Onen, has no desire to father offspring for his brother’s namesake.  So he spills his seed and no child results.  He also dies (or as the text says, G-d kills him).  Judah’s third son, Shelah, should be next in line for marrying Tamar but Judah is reticent about giving his 3^rd son to her.  We can infer that he was worried that son might also die (obviously in his mind, Tamar was bad luck). (Notice the similarity with Jacob who didn’t want to lose his 3^rd son?)  Instead of letting Tamar know that he has no intention of giving his 3^rd son to her, he tells her to wait until Shelah is older, and then yirboom can be fulfilled.  Tamar trusts Yehudah but years later when she realizes that she is never going to marry Shelah, she removes her widow’s garb and covers herself with a veil.  You might ask, if her husband had died years before, why was she still wearing a widow’s clothing?  In many ways, Tamar was like Jacob…both were in mourning that never ended.  Tamar’s mourning could not end until she had a baby to carry on the line of her dead husband and the only way that could happen was by producing a baby through the line of her dead husband’s family.  When she decides to have relations with Judah, she is actually doing so as an act of loyalty to her dead husband, Ayr.  From the Torah’s point of view, this was not seen as a pseudo-incestuous relationship.

Let’s look at 38:17-18.  The information about Judah’s payment to the “harlot” is provided because of its relationship to the Joseph story.  Tamar asks for a young goat from the flock.  Judah doesn’t have one but promises it to be sent at a later date.  (This goat is reminiscent of the goat that Judah suggested should be killed for the purpose of deceiving Jacob….it might even remind us of the goat that was used for the purpose of deceiving Isaac in the previous generation!).

When the goat is finally sent via friend to pay the pledge to the woman (i.e. Tamar), it is discovered that there was not prostitute.  Judah who deceived his father with a young goat is also deceived with a young goat.

Of course the story proceeds and Tamar is then discovered to be pregnant and Judah feels she should be burned thinking she has had a relationship outside the realm of the levirate parameters.  Tamar then reveals three items which belong to the man who impregnated her.  …a ring, a coat, and a staff, all of which Judah recognizes as his.  When Tamar says “Haker na l’mi hachotemet….(38:25) it is reminiscent of the sons of Jacob coming to ask their father to recognize Joseph’s coat.  “ They say Haker nah h’ktonet bincha hi” (37:32)

The good news is that Judah, recognizes that “tzdkah mimeni” that Tamar is more righteous than he is…and he rises to the occasion by taking back his leadership role recognizing that he was wrong not to have given his son Shelah to her for the purpose of levirate marriage. Judah actually steps up to the plate to save Tamar’s life by taking total responsibility for his actions. Interestingly enough, one of the twins which Tamar bore is named Peretz and he becomes a progenitor of King David through the line of Ruth and Boaz which is to be the line of mashiach ben david. There is a second line of the mashiach known as mashiach ben Yosef that is to come from the tribe of Ephraim through the line of Joseph.

Now back to our story.  Judah learns what it is like to have been deceived, he learns what it is like to fear losing three sons.  He learns what it means to be willing to step forward and speak up.  Later when his father can no longer bear losing another child, Judah offers himself as collateral for Benjamin.  He will no longer be responsible for bringing unending pain to his father nor unending pain to his son’s widow.  The stories are organically connected.

By reading the nuances found in the Hebrew text, the relationship of the story of Tamar found in the middle of the Joseph text is not at all out of place.  It actually appears to be the same story revolving around the character of Judah.  Only this time, Judah crawls out of his low spot and becomes worthy of becoming the one through whose name we are known….Yehudim.

Shabbat Shalom.