Choose Life

“I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your seed may live.” (Deuteronomy 30:19) When I worked as a chaplain with the Lincoln Police Department, Lincoln Fire and Rescue, and the Lancaster County Sheriff’s Office, I was called to homes where individuals had died by suicide. I went to homes where teenage boys and girls, young mothers, young fathers, had ended their own lives. Although the methods were varied, the results were the same. A precious life had been ended. A family was left to grieve the loss of a loved one that took them by total surprise. They felt guilt for not recognizing the signs, anger for having to face life without their loved one by their side, and sadness for having suffered such a loss. I’m not sure why this phrase in the Torah brings to mind these memories, perhaps it is because of the command, “Choose life.” Let me share a story told by Rabbi Alexander Davis of Beth El Synagogue in Minneapolis. “The story is told of a rabbi who was called to a hospital to see a Jewish teenager who was suicidal. Feeling that he was a good-for-nothing who could not get anything right, the boy had attempted to take his own life. The rabbi arrived at the hospital not knowing what to expect. He found the boy lying in bed watching TV, black clouds of despair hanging over his head. The boy hardly looked up at the rabbi, and before he could even say hello, the boy said, “If you are here to tell me what the other chaplain just told me, you can leave now.” Slightly taken aback, the rabbi asked, “What did he say?” “He told me that God loves me. That is a load of garbage. Why would God love me?” It was a good point. This kid could see nothing about himself that was worthy of love. He didn’t feel that he had achieved anything his life. So why would God love him? The rabbi needed to touch this boy without patronizing him. But what do you say to someone who sees himself as worthless? “You may be right,” said the rabbi. “Maybe God doesn’t love you.” This got the boy’s attention. He wasn’t expecting that from a rabbi. “Maybe God doesn’t love you. But one thing’s for sure: God needs you.” This surprised the boy. He hadn’t heard that before. “The very fact that you were born,” the rabbi continued, means that God needs you. God had plenty of people before you. But God brought you to the world because there is something you can do that no one else can. And if you haven’t done it yet, that makes it even more crucial that you continue to live, so that you are able to fulfill your mission, and give your unique gift to the world.” (After Aron Moss, Chabad.org) Although Judaism recognizes the role of illness in suicidal ideation and recognizes the need to respond by providing individuals suffering from such thoughts with appropriate care, it also has a world view that insists on the sanctity of life. First, Judaism sees each of us as a world unto ourself. “Second, Judaism teaches that our bodies are not our own. They are on loan from God. We are forbidden, therefore, to damage them or return them early. Instead, we are to keep our bodies and our minds healthy. Third, Judaism is both realistic and optimistic. Judaism does not promise a life of ease. This year, some will live, others will die. Some will be tranquil, others will be tormented. At the same, we believe in the words of our machzor that we have the power to “transform the severity of the decree, maavirin et roah hagzera.” Fourth, Judaism cautions that happiness in things- in money, in possessions, in fame- is fleeting. We will never know true contentment or feel a deep sense of satisfaction when this is our focus. Rather, it is in finding what we can do for others that we find ourselves. Fifth, Judaism offers us a framework for constructing a beautiful, meaningful life- a life of family and community, faith and friendship, gratitude and hope, repentance and renewal, a life of learning and doing and celebrating and growing and repairing and more. Finally, Judaism teaches that each of us is needed. Our family needs us. Our community and our people need us. God needs us.” (Rabbi Alexander Davis) As I write this, I am thinking of a loved one who has struggled with suicidal ideation. A year ago they invited me to their funeral…a ceremony that they put together in their garden area that was to be an opportunity to bury their suicidal ideations. They wanted to declare publicly their desire to choose life. As uncomfortable as I was at the thought originally, of being invited to a loved one's funeral, I realized its importance to them. They wanted to explain how they were moving forward, embracing life, giving up old patterns of thought that were debilitating. They also had an opportunity to hear from many relatives and friends about why their life was seen as important and cherished. I don’t know if it is customary for individuals to hold such ceremonies more commonly these days….but it was a reminder that publicly choosing life while surrounded by others who are choosing life is powerful. That is not to say that there have not been other scares in the year since that ceremony, but it also reminds me that choosing life is not a once in a lifetime choice, it is an everyday choice that we must all continually make. There are more aspects to choosing life than just choosing physical existence. There is choosing a life that reflects and promotes inner peace. There is choosing a life that negates hatred of others. There is choosing a life that exemplifies a belief that the world is not ours to destroy. There is choosing a life that demands moral behavior. There is choosing a life that brings light into the world and is meaningful. So as we ready ourselves for Rosh HaShana that begins tomorrow night, may we all be inscribed in the Book of Life by HaShem and may we all choose life and live in ways that become a blessing to all who know us.