In America this is the end of the Thanksgiving weekend, a
time when one’s attention is turned to the theme of gratitude. Actually the theme of gratitude is one which
pervades much of Jewish thought. Known
as hakarat ha-tov, there is actually an example found in this week’s Torah
portion, Vayeitze, which points out that gratitude is actually linked to the
idea that we receive more than we deserve.
In Genesis 29:35 we learn about the birth of the fourth son
of Leah through the line of Jacob. We
read: She conceived again and bore a son
and declared, “This time I will praise the Lord.” Therefore she named him Judah. Then she stopped bearing.
Of course the Rabbis asked why Leah felt especially thankful
after the birth of her fourth child.
They noted via a midrash that Leah said, “Twelve tribes are to descend
from Jacob, and since he has four wives each of us is entitled to bear three
sons. I have already given birth to
three sons, my rightful share, but now a fourth son has been granted to me;
surely it is fitting that I praise the Lord this time.”
In other words, she is thankful for having received more
than she felt was her due.
Pirkei Avot, The sayings of our Fathers, asks: איזה הוא אשיר Who
is Rich?
And provides the
following simple answer: השמח בחלקו The one who is happy with his portion.
Focusing on what one has
rather than what one doesn’t have according to this explanation can lead one to
feeling grateful and as a result blessed.
Let me share a story,
perhaps an urban legend, that I heard several years ago about Yitzchak Perlman.
One evening, Perlman was in
New York to give a concert. As a child he had been stricken with polio and so
getting on stage was no small feat for him. He had braces on both legs and walked
with two crutches. Perlman labored across the stage slowly, until he reached
the chair in which he sat himself to play.
As soon as he appeared on
stage that night, the audience applauded and then waited respectfully as he
made his way slowly across the stage to his chair. He took his seat, signaled
to the conductor to begin, and began to play.
No sooner had he finished
the first few bars than one of the strings on his violin snapped with a report
like gunshot. At that point Perlman was close enough to the beginning of the
piece that it would have been reasonable to have brought the concert to a halt
while he replaced the string, to begin again. But that's not what he did. He
waited a moment and then signaled the conductor to pick up just where they had
left off.
Perlman now had only three
strings with which to play his soloist part. He was able to find some of the
missing notes on adjoining strings, but where that wasn't possible, he had to
rearrange the music on the spot in his head so that it all still held together.
He played with passion and
artistry, spontaneously rearranging the symphony right through to the end. When
he finally rested his bow, the audience sat for a moment in stunned silence.
And then they rose to their feet and cheered wildly. They knew they had been
witness to an extraordinary display of human skill and ingenuity.
Perlman raised his bow to
signal for quiet. "You know," he said, "it is the artist's task
to make beautiful music with what you have left."
In many ways, this story reminds us of the lesson we just
learned in Pirkei Avot. Stated in
another way:
There is no limit to what we don't have,
and if that is where we focus then our lives are inevitably filled with endless
dissatisfaction. This is the ethos that lies in the proverb which asks,
"Who is rich?" and then answers, "Those who rejoice in their own
lot." (Avot 4:1)
Another pearl of wisdom
was written by the great Chassidic teacher Rebbe Nachman of Breslov who wrote, "Gratitude
rejoices with her sister joy, and is always ready to light a candle and have a
party. Gratitude doesn't much like the old cronies of boredom, despair and taking
life for granted."
Taking life for granted,
and never taking notice of the good that does exist in our lives is in direct
conflict with the idea of showing gratitude for what one has. Perhaps what we need to do is actively think
about ways in which gratitude can lead to joy in our lives.
The
Talmud mentions in Berachot 54b: 12-17 that there are Four people who need to
offer thanksgiving: Those who travel
across the sea, who cross the wilderness, who were sick and recovered, and were
imprisoned and released. Perhaps at this
time in our history, we can relate best to the idea that those who were sick
and recovered should offer thanks. If
you look in your siddur, there is a prayer called the Gomel which is recited at
the Torah on any day when it is read which states: Baruch
ata Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, ha-gomel l’chayavim tovot she-g’malani kol
tov.
Blessed are You, Lord our God, ruler of the
world, who rewards the undeserving with goodness, and who has rewarded me with
goodness.
After the recitation of this blessing, the
congregation responds:
Mi she-g’malcha kol tov, hu yi-g’malcha
kol tov selah.
May he who rewarded you with all goodness
reward you with all goodness for ever.
We are
not to take a return to good health for granted….and expressing our gratitude,
our sense of thankfulness at such times, probably happens even without the
formal recitation of the gomel prayer.
Each day
when the Amidah is recited, there is a section that begins with the words Modim
Anachnu Lach….We gratefully thank you….It is a daily prayer of
thanksgiving. We thank you HASHEM and recount your praise for our
lives….your miracles are with us every day and Your wonders and goodness are
with us at all times: evening, morning and noon….
What are
the daily miracles that are with us? Do
we really take time to stop and think about them? If we did, what would our mental attitude be
towards our own existence in this world?
To whom
do you most often feel thankful? Is it
to family, friends, work colleagues, G-d? A question recently asked on the
Sefaria website that I’d like you to think about is: Do you think it is makes a difference who
gets your gratitude, or is it enough just to feel grateful?
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