Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Arguments...Rebuke...Listening and Speaking

All week long I’ve wondered what I would write about…..would I talk about the Mishkan and the prescription for building an edifice that would allow G-d to live among the people….or would I talk about the increase in anti-Semitic incidences across the United States within the last several weeks.
Personally, I decided I could not shy away from the latter topic, because whether I like it or not, every time I walk into this building or enter the threshold of my home,  I worry about what is going on all over this nation.  Every time I hear a news report about cemeteries that have been desecrated or JCC’s or other Jewish institutions that have faced bomb threats, I cannot help but feel that somehow the safety net that Jews have felt in America over the recent past is now weakening.

You may or may not realize this, but the Temple had a bomb threat last spring and it was at that time that Marcia Kushner, Gary Hill, Seth Harris, and I met with members of the ADL and homeland security as well as our own police force to ascertain how to go about beefing up the security of our building.  Now it’s true that the Temple’s threat was eventually traced only to a single-acting teen in Illinois who was calling up Jewish institutions and leaving threatening messages, yet it brought about for us a heightened awareness that we should not be lax about our own security.  We have attempted to put into place a security plan and to bring the Lincoln Jewish Community School on board with its details.  We have now installed security cameras, and we already had a second door lock with a code and a policy of using only one entrance so we can monitor who enters the building.  Do we have more to do to make our plan complete, absolutely, and this will be addressed at an upcoming board meeting, but to be honest each of the details of the plan is merely a proper way to react if things should ever go awry.

Is there anything that this Jewish community can do to ensure that anti-Semites don’t pick us as their targets?  Is there anything that we members of a Jewish community can say to our non-Jewish friends in the community about what we’d  like them to do to help us in times when hatred seems so vocal?  In a few minutes I will let you share your thoughts about this.  But for right now, I’d like to explore the types of conversations that I have heard going on amongst Jews I know which bring me great concern.

The 9th day of Adar, is known on the Jewish calendar as the day two thousand years ago when healthy disagreements between Jews became destructive and no longer were existent for the sake of Heaven.  The 9th of Adar falls on Monday night/Tuesday this week.  The destructive disagreements of 2,000 years ago forgot the way in which the principle within Judaism known as tochecha, was to be carried out. 

Tochecha means offering rebuke when you believe an individual’s behavior should be challenged. “The principles for offering rebuke encourage us to engage with the other in a learning conversation. They suggest beginning with understanding the other side’s story and perspective. How did the other person understand the incident or interaction? Did they know their behavior would hurt you? What values or priorities were at play for them? Is it possible that you misinterpreted the situation? The answers to these questions emerge only from hearing their side of the story (Ibn Ezra on Leviticus 19:17).”

“Once we have heard the other side’s story, we must share our own in a way that can be heard. If we can explain it clearly, respectfully and at the right time and place, the hope is that the other side will learn and grow, perhaps resulting in an apology or acts of teshuvah (repentance) (Ramban on Leviticus 19:17). When both sides in the tochecha conversation are able to listen and share their conflicting stories and interpretations of a difficult issue with the intent of increasing understanding and enhancing the relationship, tochecha can indeed bring more peace to the world.”

I don’t see us having challenging conversations in a loving way. We pick on one another for political divisions, for having different interpretations about why anti-Semitism is occurring.  I see hackles going up when opinions vary. I see attacks on personality taking place in public domains which in essence from a Jewish stand-point is tantamount to murdering an individual.  Patience and gentle language have all but left many interactions. It is a no-brainer in my way of thinking that if someone approaches me by yelling in my face or by confronting me with force, that I will tune their message out even if it has merit..

Our internet world allows us to ignore the Laws of Interpersonal Relations written in Sfat in 1996 by Rabbi Zvi H. Weinberger and Rabbi Baruch A. Heifetz, which state that “ It therefore follows that this mitzvah  of offering rebuke is fulfilled not only through the reprover talking but also through listening [i.e., he or she must both speak and listen]. The reprover must be prepared to listen to the response of one’s friend, for as long as one is only coming to talk and berate one’s friend, and one is not prepared to listen and accept what the friend has to say back and the explanation that he or she may offer—the reprover does not fulfill the mitzvah. “

We may not have the answers that we can agree upon about why anti-Semitism is now rearing its ugly head, but I do believe we can agree that we don’t feel comfortable with it doing so.  We may not all see eye to eye about the current administration’s efficacy in rebuking anti-Semitic actions, but I do believe we all want to see a strong national response that says that individuals terrorizing through hateful words and deeds will be punished by the full force of the law. 

We personally may not be able to stop a bomb threat or a cemetery desecration, but we must stand together united and not divided because ultimately our divisions will undermine our well-being just as the hate being perpetrated by outsiders does.

In today’s parasha, there is a section that talks about two cherubim that stand facing one another at the entrance of the ark covering. We are told, “  And you shall make two cherubim …. And the cherubim shall spread out their wings on high, screening the ark-cover with their wings, with their faces one to another.” 

One explanation of this passage that I like was written by Rabbi Shimshon Raphael Hirsch. He wrote (on Exodus 25:20): “The whole nation of Israel is represented not by one cherub but by two, by a pair of cherubs…. Israel will become a pair of cherubim who, in mutual respect and consideration, are peacefully directed one to the other, each one there for the other, each a guarantor for the other, each entrusted to the other – in brotherly co-operation, a whole nation keeping and protecting the whole community….”
This image, is an important one for us to remember even today. As Jews, we must care about guaranteeing the safety of one another, of being peacefully directed toward one another even when others are threatening us with violent acts.  We can hold diverse opinions, disagree with one another, but we still need to face one another in peace and brotherhood.  Then and only then will our disagreements be for the “sake of Heaven.” Then and only then, will we be able to face the challenges facing our Jewish communities in this great nation. May we one day merit to see the cherubim facing one another!

Shabbat Shalom



No comments:

Post a Comment