Jacob,
This morning you helped read the Torah portion called Toldot. It told the story of the twins born to Rebecca and Isaac who struggled with one another from the time of their birth. In addition to having conflicts with one another, each was favored by a different parent. Esau was favored by his father and Jacob was favored by his mother. The core part of the story revolved around the blessing that Isaac was going to give before his death to Esau, the older son. While Esau was out hunting for game, Jacob disguised himself and received the blessing that was to have been given to his firstborn brother. The result was that Esau harbored a grudge against Jacob for stealing his birthright and decided that he would kill his younger brother. When the portion ended, Jacob ran off to Paddan-Aram to stay with his uncle until his brother's anger had subsided.
Even though the story is about one of Judaism's founding families, it is obvious that there was much discord within the family...parents who preferred one child over another, siblings who cheated one another and harbored grudges. The story is told to point out that it takes a lot of work to avoid becoming a dysfunctional family. We have to care about one other, avoid being jealous of our siblings, and treat each other as we would want to be treated.
As you know families are the core unit our society and have always been responsible for transmitting the customs, traditions, and values of Judaism to each generation. Children have always been seen as the guarantors of preserving the values of Torah. When I first spoke to your mother several months ago about the possibility of you being called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah at our congregation, I had no idea that you had grandparents who were members of our synagogue. In fact I only knew that you had a grandfather that you wanted to have present at your ceremony and having it in Lincoln would make that a reality. I also did not know that the idea to come here for this special time in your life was your own idea. When I learned that information from your grandmother, I must say that I was proud that you were going to come to the Torah for the first time on our bimah. Your sense of the importance of family is commendable. Your understanding that you can bring joy to others by letting them see you continue on in the paths that they have set before you shows wisdom much beyond your years. I hope you also know that the family link you are forging today extends itself to the broader Jewish community as well. Whether you are in Lincoln or in Phoenix or in any other Jewish community, you now have a place in the Jewish world where you really do count! You not only count for a minyan, but you count as an individual who can contribute to the well-being of Jewish continuity.
I know that training in your home community and then traveling to an unknown synagogue for this ceremony added the extra dimension of worrying about what it would be like to celebrate this life cycle event. I hope that when you leave here, you will only have wonderful feelings about a community that is excited that you have chosen to be with us and is touched by your tenderheartedness. We wish you a hearty mazel tov and hope that when you come back to visit your grandparents in the future that you will join us once again in this synagogue.
Shabbat Shalom.
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